Vendetta
by RedQ
Summary: "Barry doesn't want to be found," Cisco said sadly, "And he might be a bit confused emotionally now, but Barry's still smart. He knows how to disappear. I doubt we'd be able to track him even without his powers, but with them? We don't stand a chance. We have no clue where he could be." (Part 3 to The First Cut is the Deepest and Picking up the Pieces.)
1. Only Just Getting Started

**Here it is! Part 3 to The First Cut is the Deepest and Picking up the Pieces. Before reading this, I recommend that you at least read part 2 of this series first or it might not make sense.**

 **WARNING: Like the first two parts, this story is going to be pretty dark and will contain some violence, graphic medical flashbacks, and other elements that some people may find unsettling.**

 **Sorry if the ending of part 2 was misleading. I had Barry say the same thing he said in the season 2 finale ("That's why I'm so sorry…but I have to do this"), but I'm not going to have him time traveling. I just wanted to incorporate that dialogue into the story.**

 **This first chapter is pretty short because it's just an intro chapter, but future ones will be longer.**

 **Only Just Getting Started**

Love is hard. It's messy and complicated. But hate. Hate is so clean. So simple.

Barry had been trying so hard to love, to be the same loving person he had always been, but it was difficult. Loving his family wasn't hard. No, what was hard was what came with that love. Those relationships were messy and complicated. Their concern for him was suffocating, and it only led to him lying to them to avoid even more concern. Their protectiveness of him only led to _them_ lying to _him_ in order to keep him safe. They had both kept things from each other, not out of hate or deceit, but out of _love_.

Hate was easier. It was easier for Barry to hate the scientists than it was for him to love his friends and family. Hate wasn't complicated. It was simple. It was clean and pure. There wasn't the same mess of complicated emotions that came with love. Love could easily turn into resentment under the right circumstances, but when it came to hate, there was not much else to it. It was simply hate, and he could choose how to channel that hate. He could bottle it in like he had been doing for months or he could let himself finally unleash it.

It wasn't hard to stay hidden from his friends and family. All he had to do was keep moving. Even if Cisco vibed him or they caught him on facial recognition software, Barry was simply too fast for them to ever get to him. He never stayed in one city for more than one night. He was always moving, always running. It would have been exhausting, if there hadn't been a purpose to it.

But Barry had a purpose. He wasn't just running away. He was running for something now. He had a purpose, and that purpose was to find them. His months of research and meticulously keeping tabs on the scientists had paid off. He knew exactly where to find them. He watched them, kept notes on them, learned their habits, their routines.

He wanted so badly to just do it already, to hurt them in the ways they had hurt him, but it was too soon. He had waited this long. He could be patient and wait a little longer. He couldn't hurt them yet. To do so would only turn them into martyrs, into victims in the world's eyes. No, he couldn't hurt them yet. First he had to expose them.

…..

"It's been two weeks since Barry's phone call, a full _month_ since he ran away, and we still haven't found him?!" Joe asked incredulously.

"We're trying, Joe," Caitlin assured him, "Trust me, we want to find Barry just as much as you do."

"I can't believe this," Iris said in frustration, "This is STAR Labs. Of all the people you've managed to track down, you can't find Barry?"

"Barry doesn't want to be found," Cisco said sadly, "And he might be a bit confused emotionally now, but Barry's still smart. He knows how to disappear. I doubt we'd be able to track him even without his powers, but with them? We don't stand a chance. We have no clue where he could be."

"That's not true," Joe said suddenly, "We know exactly where Barry's going to go. We don't need to find Barry, we need to find the scientists. We find them, and we might be able to find Barry and stop him before he does something he'll regret."

"You don't think Barry will…kill them. Do you?" Iris asked tearfully.

"Barry would never do that," Henry said firmly, "He isn't capable of that."

"We don't know what Barry's capable of now," Joe said sadly.

"He didn't kill Dr. Holland," Caitlin pointed out, "Something stopped him, and it definitely wasn't us. To him, it was as if we weren't even in the room. Something else stopped him from going through with it."

"I guess that's something," Joe said quietly.

"I got a hit!" Cisco said suddenly. All of them looked back to him where he had been working on his computer. They all looked at the article he had found.

 ** _Ashwaubenon Doctor Imprisoned for Illegal Organ Trafficking_**

 _Earlier this week, Dr. James Coffman was found guilty of selling human organs on the black market. Organs in his possession included a kidney, portions of liver tissue, a spleen, several lymph nodes, over fourteen pints of blood, several skin graft segments, and, perhaps most disturbing, a human finger. DNA evidence reveals that all parts belong to one person, but the identity of said victim remains unknown, and DNA evidence has thus far been inconclusive, yielding no match to any persons within the APD's database. Whether or not the victim is still alive is unclear, although the excessive amounts of blood taken suggests that the samples were taken over an extended period of time. The organs were no longer viable for medical use, and investigators are unsure as to the buyer's intentions with the parts. Although he has been found guilty for his crimes, Doctor Coffman still adamantly refuses to reveal where he obtained the organs, leaving many only able to speculate the origin of the disturbing collection of body parts. For now, it seems, the source remains a mystery. Cont. P3._

No one said anything for a moment after they finished reading the article.

"Where was this?" Iris asked quietly after a moment.

"This happened in Wisconsin," Cisco told them, "And remember last week we had a facial recognition hit for Barry in Ashwaubenon, Wisconsin? That's no coincidence. Barry did this."

"So basically, this guy, this Dr. Coffman," Joe said, "He was trying to sell Barry's organs?"

"We don't know for sure that they're Barry's," Caitlin said, "But it's likely considering how Barry _was_ missing a kidney, parts of his liver, his spleen, and nine of his lymph nodes. Not to mention, the missing finger. They have to be Barry's."

"That's sick," Henry said angrily, his hands curling into fists, "It's bad enough that they removed all of those parts from my son, but now this guy was trying to make a quick buck by _selling_ them?! He deserves a lot worse than to just go to prison."

"Well at least Barry didn't do anything else," Iris said reasonably, "All he did was expose the guy and get him put away. I don't know about you guys, but I don't have a problem with that."

"I agree," Caitlin said, "I thought Barry was going to do a lot worse."

"Well, this isn't over yet," Joe said darkly, "There are still plenty of other scientists out there. We still don't know what Barry might do yet."

…..

Barry watched with satisfaction as they loaded Dr. Coffman into the truck to take him to Winnebago Prison. He wasn't done with the doctor. Not by a long shot. But for the time being, he was satisfied. At least for now, the world knew him for the scum that he was.

Barry was worried about other things at the moment though. He had a visit to pay. A visit to a certain lab assistant he had grown to know all too well over the last two weeks.

…

"How has Barry been doing?" the captain asked him curiously before Joe could leave the office after dropping off a file, "He can take off as much time as he needs, but he knows that there's nothing to be ashamed of, right? No one here is judging him for what happened."

Joe sighed and looked back at the captain with a pained look on his face. Slowly, he closed the door, and walked back over to the captain's desk.

"I suppose you deserve to know what's really going on," Joe said quietly, taking a deep breath, "Barry hasn't just been taking time off because of what happened in the bathroom here."

"What do mean?" Singh asked, furrowing his eyebrows in confusion.

"Barry's gone," Joe said in a strained voice, "He took off. We haven't seen him for weeks."

Singh's eyes widened.

"But, why?" he asked incredulously, "Why would Barry do that? Why would he just take off like that?"

Joe sighed.

"He found out we were working with Dr. Holland," he told him.

"Oh no," the captain said quietly, understanding now.

"I think a part of Barry still feels betrayed by us," Joe said, "We told him that we were doing it to help him, but Barry didn't give us much of a chance to explain before he left."

"Where did he go?" Singh asked, "Do you guys know?"

"We've been tracking him, but he's too fast for us to ever make contact with him," Joe said painfully, "He's…he's going after them. He's going after the scientists."

Singh paled.

"Don't say anymore," he said abruptly.

"What?" Joe said, taken aback, "Why?"

"Because, as chief of police, if I found out that one of my employees was…No," he said, shaking his head, "No. You haven't told me anything yet. For all I know, Barry's searching for them to ask them to share an iced tea with him. You haven't said anything about Barry's activities yet, so legally, I'm not required to do anything."

Joe nodded, understanding. So far, Barry actually hadn't done anything illegal (that they know of), but that didn't mean that he wouldn't. They still had no idea what Barry was planning to do.

…..

"What is it?" Iris asked urgently as she and her father entered the cortex, "What did you find?"

"Felicity found it actually," Caitlin said, "She just sent us this."

Looking at the computer screen, they all could see that yet another doctor had been arrested in Maine. Iris recognized his face instantly from when she had seen it on Barry's computer. It was the one who Barry had said had a knack for breaking fingers, the one who Barry thought of every time he tried to write. He had been arrested for several counts of malpractice and unethical experimentation. Apparently, he had been continuing similar experiments in his own lab in Maine. That is, until Barry got to him.

"Both cases have something in common," Joe pointed out, "They were both exposed anonymously."

"Strange," Cisco said.

"Not really," Iris said, "Of course Barry would remain anonymous."

"I know," Cisco said quickly, "That makes sense, I guess. I just meant it's strange. I know if I were Barry, I would want them to know it was me who exposed them. There's something really unsatisfying about just sending them off to prison, never knowing that he was behind it."

"Personally, I kind of support what Barry's doing," Iris said, "I mean, I hate the circumstances under which he's doing it, but I think it's a good thing he's making sure they get arrested for their crimes. I just wish he would have let us help him. I don't know why he felt the need to hide it from us if he plan was simply to expose them."

"Maybe that's not all Barry's doing though," Caitlin said darkly, "Maybe there's more to it than that."

"You're right," Cisco said, staring at the new article he had just found, "He's not getting all of them arrested, just some of them."

They all looked at the article he had pulled up on the screen.

 ** _Former Lab Assistant has Nervous Breakdown_**

 _Dennis Barnes, a lab tech from Kingsport, Tennessee, was admitted to St. James Psychiatric Hospital after turning himself in to local police. Barnes frantically claimed that he needed to turn himself in for his crimes, although he would not state what those crimes were. All he would say was that he needed to be in police custody for his own protection, claiming that he was being haunted by a red demon at all hours of the day and night. According to Barnes, this being was a ghost sent to torment him for the wrongs he had committed. After spending three days being hospitalized for severe chronic sleep deprivation, malnutrition, and various injuries that are assumed to be self-inflicted, Barnes was admitted into St. James Asylum for further psychiatric monitoring._

They all looked around at each other in shock.

"That's pretty dark," Henry said, "Are we sure Barry is really even capable of doing something like that? I mean, tormenting somebody into insanity? I don't know if Barry would ever do such a thing."

"With all due respect, Henry, you weren't there," Joe said seriously, "In the lab. You didn't see what was done to Barry. Things like that stay with a person and can make them do some pretty dark things in retaliation."

"But driving someone _insane_?" Henry said in disbelief.

"Barry was there," Cisco said sadly, "We've had several hits for him in that county over the last two weeks. He was there."

"I can't believe my son would do this," Henry said brokenly.

"Me neither," Caitlin said sadly, "And Barry's only just getting started."


	2. GID

**I'm so sorry for how long this chapter took. This story is very complicated, and the layout for it was so daunting to me every time I looked at it. I guess I got overwhelmed by it a bit. I'll try to update more regularly now though, now that I know where I'm going with the story. I hope I haven't lost you guys!**

 **Chapter 2**

 **G.I.D.**

Barry felt sick every time he pulled the red material over his body. He had never thought he would wear the suit again. He needed it though. It was the only thing he could wear if he wanted to run at the inhuman speeds that he did without his clothes setting fire.

He had taken the emblem off of the Flash suit. He wasn't wearing it to be the Flash. He may still have superspeed, but he was no superhero. Wearing the suit was sickening for him. It felt like he was making a mockery of the hero he used to be, or at least, the hero he had _thought_ he had been.

Every time Barry put the suit on, all those thoughts and difficult questions resurfaced in his mind. Was he ever a hero? Had he ever even been good? Or was this who he was always meant to be? Before, Barry had always believed that his destiny was to save people, and now he wondered if it was the opposite. Maybe his destiny wasn't to save the good; it was to punish the bad. It was to _hurt_ people. Really, an antihero was still sort of a hero, right? Punishing the bad was just as important as protecting the good. Besides, hurting people had always been what he was good at. There was only one difference to it now.

Now, he was doing it intentionally.

Now, at least, he was hurting people who deserved it. That wasn't entirely true though. Barry knew he was hurting his family too with what he was doing, but the way he saw it, he would hurt them either way. If he had stayed, if he had not ran off and started this vendetta of his, he still would have hurt them continuously. Every day he had spent at home, trying to recover from the things that had been done to him, he had been constantly hurting his family.

He couldn't be Barry Allen for them.

Barry sighed when the suit was fully zipped up. He tried his best not to even think about what he was wearing, to not think about this perversion of the suit he had once loved so much. It was one of the _many_ reasons why all the mirrors in the motel room were covered. Barry picked up his small bag, the one containing the money and the few possessions he had managed to take with him, and he flashed from the room, off to his next location. He never stayed in the same place for more than one night. Cisco would either vibe him, or recognition software would spot him somewhere. He had to keep changing cities, or they would find him.

He had to keep moving.

…..

"I got in!" Cisco shouted, throwing his hands up in triumph.

"You got into what?" Joe asked curiously, moving over to stand next to the cortex desk where Cisco was sitting.

"Barry's program," Cisco said excitedly, "The software program he's been working on for months. I didn't know Barry was even capable of creating so many complicated firewalls, but I finally hacked my way into it!"

"How does _that_ help us?" Iris asked, standing next to her dad to look at the screen.

Caitlin also made her way over to look at the computer.

"It probably doesn't help much," Cisco admitted, "But who knows? Maybe it'll give us some clues as to Barry's plan. He took the hard drive out of his laptop before smashing it, but he still left his software program on the STAR Labs computer."

"It's just a software program though," Caitlin said, furrowing her eyebrows, "What does it have to do with anything?"

"I don't think this is just a normal software project," Cisco said, looking at the screen seriously.

"No, it's just what Barry was using to distract us so we wouldn't know what he was really up to," Iris said bitterly.

Cisco shook his head.

"No, I think it's more than just that," he insisted.

"What do you mean?" Joe asked seriously.

"Look at the title of the project," Cisco said, pointing at the screen.

"Generalized Interactive Directive," Iris muttered, still confused.

"G.I.D," Cisco said, looking pointedly at everyone.

"Gideon," Caitlin whispered, her eyes going wide.

Cisco nodded.

"What's Gideon?" Iris and Joe both asked at the same time.

"Oh, I forgot," Cisco said, "You guys never met Gideon. She was an artificial intelligence program from the future that the Reverse Flash used. She was basically his computerized assistant. We spoke briefly with her last year when we were trying to figure out who Wells really was. She told us that Barry created her in the future."

"Barry created an artificial intelligence program?" Joe asked, raising his eyebrows, "And you think that that's what this project here is?"

"I don't think Barry started the project intending to create Gideon, but I think that's what he ended up doing," Cisco said, nodding.

"So he really did it then," Caitlin said, "He really created the future software that we talked to in the time vault."

"Yes and no," Cisco said, looking over the program, "It's not truly Gideon. Not yet. It's an early version of her though."

"What does it do exactly?"

"Barry hasn't said much about it," Cisco said slowly, "He said it was simulation software. You input information in it, and it analyses different scenarios and outcomes."

They all looked at him, slightly confused expressions on their faces.

"It makes judgement calls," Cisco clarified, "Sort of like A.I. Obviously, the program isn't truly conscious, but it… _thinks_ , for lack of a better word. It analyses data and draws different conclusions and predictions from it."

"Predictions?" Joe asked, "Cisco, are you telling us that Barry created software that can tell the _future_?"

Cisco shook his head.

"Not exactly," he said, "It predicts the most _likely_ future though, and it advises the user to the best course of action, depending on the scenario."

"Can we use it?" Iris asked excitedly, "Can we use it to find Barry?"

"Maybe," Cisco said slowly, "I'd have to figure out how to work it though. Barry just created the _program_. He didn't exactly develop a user's manual with instructions for it, so it's not too user friendly. It's going to take me a while to figure out how it's coded and get it to actually function for us."

"But you can do it, right?" Iris asked hopefully, "You can get it to work for us? You can use it find Barry?"

"I can try," Cisco said, "Barry didn't make the program easy to access. It's operating system is strange, not like any computer program _I've_ ever seen before. Of course, leave it to Barry to develop the most confusing software program ever. It's almost just as confusing as it was when future Gideon showed us her operating system before."

"I'm sure you can figure it out," Caitlin said supportively, "You can do it, Cisco."

Cisco nodded and turned back to the screen. The coding for the program was an absolute mess with its complexity, but he would decipher it, and once he did, they would use it.

They would use Barry's own program against him.

…..

 _Central City Doctor Arrested for Prostitution Scandal and Sexual Assault_

 _Dr. Derrick Kane was arrested on Thursday evening under prostitution and sexual assault charges. It has been revealed that Dr. Kane has been a patron to various forms of prostitution for the last two years. Kane was charged with solicitation and sexual assault after it was revealed that the doctor was having sexual relations with multiple patients of his, some of them being non-consensual. The condemning photos of the doctor's illegal transgressions were delivered to the police by none other than Dr. Kane's wife, who claims to have received the photos from an anonymous source. Cont. P4._

This particular article hadn't been difficult for Team Flash to find, seeing as it appeared in their city's own newspaper.

"He was _here_ ," Iris choked, "He was right here, in the city. He was so close."

"He's gotten more careful," Cisco muttered, "I didn't even have a facial recognition hit for him this time. Barry left no sign that he was even _in_ Central City."

"He was probably more careful," Joe sighed, "He has to know that we're tracking him. He was probably more careful about entering the city this time. He knew we were waiting for it."

"I don't know if there's anything we could have done anyways," Caitlin said bitterly, "It's not like we could have stopped him, even _if_ he was this close."

"You're right," Cisco said, nodding sadly, "The only way we're going to get to Barry is if we're one step ahead of him. Tracking him isn't enough. We need to be ready. We have to know where he's going to be _before_ he goes there. I'm getting closer with deciphering Barry's program. I got into the operating system of it, but it's complicated. The program isn't completed yet, so its uses are limited. I'm entering in all of the information we've managed to find about what Barry's doing, and once I'm done, Gideon will analyze it, and she'll hopefully be able to predict Barry's next move."

…..

Barry shook uncontrollably as he sat on the hard, porcelain surface. He ignored the water that was falling down his naked, mutilated body as he drew his knees to his chest, trying to control his breathing. It was just a stupid nightmare. He had had plenty of them, and he could handle it.

At the time, Barry had hated having his family hovering over him after one of his nightmares, but now he found himself longing for their support. It wasn't until now that he realized how much they had grounded him, how much hearing their voices had helped him pull away from the flashbacks.

He sat on the floor of the hotel shower, trying to slow his heartrate and tell himself that he was safe. He was in control now, not them. He was the one with the power now, and they were the ones who were helpless, who had nowhere to run.

Barry's mind kept reverting back to the payphone he had seen just down the street from the hotel. It would be so easy to go to it now and call his family, to hear their soothing voices. He couldn't do that though. If he did that, then he'd have to move. He'd have to find a different place to stay tonight after they traced the call.

He also didn't want to do that to them—or himself. He couldn't reach out to them, as much as he wanted to. It would just make things harder on everyone. If he called them, if he heard their voices, then the next thing he would long for would be to see their faces. He would want to go home.

Barry _already_ wanted to go home. He wanted to be where things were safe, familiar. He wanted more than anything to put all of this behind him and move on with his life, if that was even possible. Barry ran his fingers over the brand scar on his left arm.

No. He couldn't go back there.

He had to finish this. He had to do this if he was ever going to move on. He had to find peace, and he couldn't do that if he went running home to his family. This was something he had to do alone. They couldn't be a part of this. He couldn't let them see him like this, see the monster that he had become. As much as they tried, they would never understand it, never understand _him._

So Barry didn't go to the payphone. He didn't reach out for comfort, for support.

Barry stayed on the floor of the shower until the water ran cold.

…..

"Why hasn't he gone after Eiling yet?" Joe asked quietly.

They had just finished reading yet another article about a scientist who had been exposed for a malpractice scandal. Barry had exposed thirteen of them by this point, but they hadn't heard _anything_ about Eiling yet.

"I don't know," Cisco said, turning away from the article, "Maybe he just hasn't been able to get to him yet."

"He's saving him for last," Henry whispered, "He's wants Eiling to know that he's coming for him."

"Well, we're going to get Eiling first," Iris gritted, "We're still going to take him down, right?"

"Yes," Cisco said firmly, "We're going to get to Eiling before Barry does. We'll expose him ourselves. It's the least we can do."

"How close are we to finally pressing the charges?" Caitlin asked Joe.

Joe sighed.

"Singh and I have everything ready to go," he said, "But I want to make sure we're really _ready_ before we start this whole thing. Even with all of the evidence, Eiling isn't going to be easy to take down, especially since we now don't have Barry to testify or to press the charges, himself. Central City vs Wade Eiling isn't going to be as sure of a trial as _Barry Allen_ vs Wade Eiling would have been."

"Barry agreed to pressing the charges though," Iris said, "He's just not here to do it. Do you think there's a way we can still file them under Barry's name?"

"It wouldn't be legal," Joe sighed, "I'll talk to Singh about it. Barry _did_ technically give his verbal consent to me. Maybe we could file the charges under Barry's name without him actually signing. I'd have to forge the documents, which is extremely illegal, but I think Singh might let me do it, considering the circumstances."

"Whatever helps us win the case," Henry said firmly, "I don't care what laws we have to break. We need to get that man put away as soon as possible."

"We don't want to rush this though," Joe said seriously, "Once we start this, everything is going to happen fast."

"What's going to happen exactly?" Iris asked nervously, "Once we press the charges?"

"The media is going to blow up," Henry said seriously, "It's going to be a pretty major case. I wouldn't be surprised if it gets nationwide attention."

"He's right," Joe said, nodding, "The arrest of a United States general is a big deal. We need to be ready for the media storm when it hits. Eiling will also know then that we're gunning for him, and we need to be prepared for what he might do. He's not going to stay in custody. He'll be out on bail within twenty-four hours of the charges being filed, and he's going to have some of the best lawyers working on his case."

"What if he exposes Barry?" Caitlin asked nervously, "There's a good chance that Barry's identity will come out throughout the whole thing."

"Holland said he probably won't expose Barry," Cisco said, "He wants to continue his experiments, and he'll have a harder time doing that if everyone knows Barry Allen is the Flash after the trial."

"It's still a possibility though," Joe said seriously, "And it has to be something that we have to be ready to live with if it becomes the case."

"Barry's not the Flash anymore," Iris said sadly, the words tasting sour on her tongue, "The way I see it, if that happens…"

Caitlin sighed.

"It's a risk worth taking," she concluded, "If we can get Eiling put away, it will be worth it, either way."

"Will Barry testify?" Iris asked her dad.

Joe shook his head sadly.

"He didn't want to be a part of the trial," he said, "I was going to try to convince him, when the time came, but then…you know."

"If Barry doesn't testify, we'll just have to hope that all the evidence we have will be enough," Cisco said, "Besides, we were there for a small portion of it. Our eye witness accounts and our video evidence has to be enough to convince a jury."

Joe sighed.

"I hope so," he muttered, "If it were anyone else that we were trying to take down, I'd say it'd be an easy win, but Eiling is powerful."

"I don't care how powerful he is," Iris said angrily, "Even _he_ can't escape the law, not when we have this much evidence."

"I hope you're right," her father sighed.

…..

Doctor Persecuted for Illegal Experimentation on Human Embryos

 _After receiving an anonymous tip, police raided and searched Dr. Perry Rosier's laboratory facility in Amnesty Bay, Maine, and what they found was shocking. Over thirty human embryos were found in the lab, all having been undergoing a variety of different inhumane experiments. Some of the fetuses were partially grown, others only in the early stages of development. The purpose of these experiments remains unknown. Rosier's lab had only been up and running for less than a month before being shut down by the police, suggesting that the research had been started elsewhere and had then been transferred to its current location. Public officials have speculated that the original lab was out-of-state and have been working to…Cont. P7._

"Human embryos?" Joe asked, his eyes going wide, "Does that mean…?"

They all looked around at each other seriously, all thinking the same horrible thought. The silence was broken by Dr. Holland

"They're his," Dr. Holland confirmed quietly, "They're Barry's."

…..

 **Again, I'm sorry for how long this took! Please let me know that I haven't lost all of you!**

 **AN: I'm putting this message on all of my stories. I now have a list on my profile that says which stories I'm currently working on and which ones are on hold. It's my attempt to be a little more organized for you guys because I always feel guilty about how sporadic my updates are. I hope it helps a little! Thanks!**

 **RedQ**


	3. Ashland

**WARNING: Rape/Non-con (non-graphic)**

 **This chapter was a huge reason why I was so stumped on this story. I didn't know if I wanted to go through with this part or not, but I think over time, I've gotten a bit bolder with my writing, so I decided to stay true to the story and write it. I hope no one is triggered or offended by this chapter. It's non-graphic and the conversation in which non-con is referred to is brief. Really, everything that was done to Barry in that lab was non-consensual though.**

 **Ashland**

Joe looked like he was going to be sick. They _all_ did. Of all the things the scientists had done to his son, he had never thought they could have done anything like _this._

"You didn't tell me about that," Caitlin said to Holland in a dangerously quiet voice, "I thought you told me everything that you had done to Barry."

"I said I would tell you everything that you needed to _know_ ," Dr. Holland corrected quietly, "And I did. I told you about all of the major procedures. I told you what was important."

"It _all_ is important," Iris spat, glaring at the woman, "Everything you did to Barry, it all matters, every last thing."

"I didn't think you would want to know about it," the doctor said quietly, "Or that _Barry_ would want to know. Obviously he knows we took all the…necessary reproductive samples from him, but he's unaware of what we did with them."

"Well, he's aware _now_!" Cisco said angrily, "I'm sure he knows now that those unborn babies were _his_!"

"Oh my God," Iris choked, covering her mouth with her hand, "Barry. He must be so devastated."

"Are there any still alive?" Caitlin asked Dr. Holland angrily, "Is there a surrogate mother out there currently still carrying Barry's child?"

Dr. Holland shook her head.

"No," she said, "We had all of the fetuses aborted within a month so we could study their development up to that point and see if Barry's abilities were genetic, which they were. We weren't planning to do a full gestation for at least another six months or so."

They all glared at the doctor.

"You're evil," Cisco said angrily to her, "You're completely evil, and you deserve whatever Barry's got coming for you. Don't expect us to protect you when Barry comes back for you. Whatever he's planning, you deserve every bit of it and then some."

"Cisco," Caitlin said, trying to calm him.

"No, Caitlin," he snapped, "I've had it with this monster! Why are we even still keeping her around? I don't give a fuck how sorry she is. It doesn't undo what she did."

"I know, Cisco," Caitlin said gently, "But we need her if we're going to take on Eiling."

"They raped him," Iris said quietly, "They raped his mind, spirit, and body. Everything they did to Barry was…unspeakable. I'm sorry, but I agree with Cisco. I can't have this woman around anymore."

They all turned to Joe for his opinion.

"Get rid of her," was all he could say.

He wasn't able to look at Dr. Holland. He never was. Just the sight of the woman made his stomach clench.

Dr. Holland didn't say a word. She knew this was coming, knew they would reach a point where they would have to come up with a decision. She couldn't stay prisoner at STAR Labs forever. The only question now was what they were going to do with her.

"So, we're just going to let her go?" Caitlin asked the other three, her voice cracking, "She gets to just walk away?"

"I say we leave her to whatever Barry wants to do to her," Iris said stiffly.

"What about _Barry_?" Caitlin asked desperately, "This vendetta of his isn't healthy. We're just going to support that by allowing him to exact his vengeance on another person? Shouldn't we be trying to _stop_ him?"

"I agree with you that this isn't healthy, Caitlin," Joe said painfully, "But at the same time, I think Barry really needs this. I think he needs to be the one to take them all down. I think it might bring him some closure."

"No, it's going to further damage him," Caitlin insisted, "Right now, all Barry is doing is exposing all of them, but for all we know, there could be more to it than that. We can't support his…his _vendetta_ by allowing him to do the same to Dr. Holland, as much as she may deserve it. And like I said, we need her for the trial. We can't just let her leave and hope that Barry takes care of her. I don't trust her as far as I can throw her. Once she's gone, who's to say she won't go straight to Eiling? We can't let her leave."

The others all looked angrily at Dr. Holland. They knew that Caitlin was right, that they couldn't just let her leave, but having her around, seeing her face every day, knowing what she did to Barry, was sickening for them. Having her here, working with them, while Barry was gone, killed them. Every minute they spent with the doctor was painful and unbearable.

"I would never go to Eiling," Dr. Holland said quietly, "I would never help hurt Barry again. I…I want to help. I want to make up for the things I did."

Iris stepped forward so that she was standing in front of the doctor, her face inches from Holland.

"Nothing can ever make up for what you did to Barry," she whispered, her eyes filled with loathing for the doctor, " _Nothing_."

…..

Barry painfully scrubbed a few of the tears from his face. His heart felt like it had been shredded into a million tiny pieces. He had to move on. He had to move onto the next scientist. He couldn't stop thinking about Dr. Rosier though. He had known the doctor was running his own experiments in his own private lab in Maine, but he had had no idea what those experiments had been.

Until now.

The doctor was exposed. Barry had done what he needed to do for now, and it was time to move onto his next target, but he couldn't, not after what he had seen in that lab.

A sob escaped Barry's lips as he thought about it. This wasn't just about him now. This wasn't about getting revenge. It was about getting vengeance for _all_ of them. For him and his…his children.

Barry felt like he was going to be sick again. He already _had_ been sick. Several times.

It had taken all that Barry had not to hunt the doctor down right then and there. He wanted to kill the man. He wanted to kill him more than he had ever wanted to do anything in his life. Barry had stopped himself though. It was too soon. Barry couldn't hurt them yet. He had to make sure the world knew what they had done first. He had to make sure they all were seen for the scum they were.

…..

"Alright, everyone," Cisco said, beckoning them over to the computer he was sitting at, "I just finished inputting our latest data. Time to finally see if Gideon can really help us find him."

Everyone crowded around the computer screen, anxious to see if this was going to work.

Cisco looked at them all nervously before hitting a button on the keyboard. A loading emblem appeared on the screen.

"It's processing the data," he told them quietly, "I inputted all of the locations that we know Barry has been in for last two months and the locations of the few remaining scientists that he hasn't gotten to yet. Gideon should be able to anticipate which scientist Barry will mostly go after next."

They all stared at the screen, waiting anxiously for it to come up with a result. Finally, it did.

Phillip Nash

Cisco grinned when the name appeared on the screen.

"How do we know that that's for sure who Barry's going after next?" Joe asked skeptically.

"We don't," Cisco said, "But looking over the data here, it looks like Gideon took into account the fact that Barry went north last week. She saw a pattern that we haven't seen."

"What do you mean?" Henry asked, furrowing his eyebrows, "What pattern?"

"Barry's been traveling in a way that he _thinks_ is random," Cisco explained, "But looking at the pattern of locations he's been to so far, it looks like Barry tends to go north after every time he hits someone in Central City. He also seems to come back to this area every week or so, sometimes for what seems like no reason."

"No reason?" Iris asked.

Cisco nodded.

"Just last week, Barry stayed in a motel that was just a mile from Central City, but after that he ended up traveling to Quebec, Canada. He keeps coming back to this area though, and a lot of the time it's not for a scientist. There doesn't seem to be any reason for it."

"Maybe it's because he's homesick," Joe whispered.

Cisco sighed.

"Yeah," he said quietly, "That's what I'm thinking too."

"I wish he would just come _home_ ," Iris said brokenly, "I wish he would at least _call_ , give us a chance to talk to him, to work things out."

"I think it's safe to say now that Barry isn't planning on coming home any time soon," Joe said sadly, "He needs to finish this first. All we can hope for is that once he's done with all of this, he'll come back."

"He will," Iris said firmly, "He _will_ come home, when he's ready."

Joe released a shaky sigh.

"I hope you're right," he muttered, "For now, all we can do is try to track him and figure out where he's going. If Gideon is right. If Barry _is_ going to go after this 'Phillip Nash' next, maybe we can try to intercept him. Maybe we can talk to him."

Henry sighed.

"It's as good a plan as any."

…..

Phillip Nash.

After looking the scientist up, they all recognized his picture right away. He had been the dermatology expert in the lab where they had kept Barry. He was the one they had watched perform multiple skin grafts on Barry, some of the most sickening experiments Barry had endured.

He was one of the few scientists who hadn't tried to hide after the entire operation had fallen apart. He had gone back to his hometown in Ashland, Ohio, where it appeared he had his own dermatology center through which he practiced medicine and dermatology research.

They didn't know what Barry was planning to expose him for; all they knew what that Nash was probably his next target. Ashland was just a few miles from Central City, so they wouldn't have to go far to try to intercept Barry. They knew Barry was most likely going to be in that city next. The hardest part was going to be figuring out _where_ in the city Barry was going to be. It wasn't a terribly big city—it's population being only 20,000 people—but it was still going to be hard to pinpoint Barry's exact location.

It was also going to be difficult to convince Barry to come home. Or to get him to even listen to them without flashing away first, for that matter. They figured the easiest way would be to ambush Barry at whatever hotel he was staying at this time. They figured that would go over better than trying to reach Barry while he was actively trying to take down Nash.

Ashland, Ohio had a lot of hotels, though. And Barry always used a different fake name at every place he stayed. Thankfully, Gideon helped them find the most likely hotel. A room had been booked at a small hotel on the south side of the city that very morning, and the name that the person had used was Edmond Dantes. After searching the name, they discovered that it was actually the name of a fictional character. The protagonist to the Count of Monte Cristo. It was no coincidence.

It was Barry.

"What are we going to say to him once we get inside?" Iris asked nervously.

They were all huddled in the STAR Labs van, which was parked outside of the small hotel that Barry was staying at. It was hard for them to believe that after two months of Barry being gone, they were now this close to him.

"Maybe we shouldn't all go in at once," Joe said, "He's probably more likely to bolt if we all ambush him at once. I think just a few of us should go in."

"You and Iris should go," Caitlin said to Joe, "He spent most of his time with you two while he was recovering. He'll probably respond to you best. He might hear you out before he runs."

"What if…?" Cisco said, swallowing painfully, "What if we…tranquilized him?"

The others all stared at him.

"What?" Henry asked angrily.

"Hey, I don't _want_ to do it," Cisco said quickly, "But let's face it, Barry's probably going to run no matter what we say to him. I know tranquilizing him will be awful for him, but maybe it's the best option. At least then we could take him home with us."

"To do what?" Joe asked seriously, "Lock him in the pipeline? I'm not going to do that to him. Barry's already lost his freedom once; I'm not going to do it to him a second time. I'm not going to let him associate us with those _scientists_ by making him our prisoner."

"Okay," Cisco said quickly, "Okay, I agree with you. I was just throwing the idea out there."

Joe nodded seriously and then looked at Iris.

"Ready?" he asked nervously.

Iris nodded and the two of them climbed out of the van and made their way into the hotel.

"What if he doesn't answer the door?" Iris asked suddenly as they were walking down the hotel hallway to room 138, "We probably shouldn't knock. He'll just phase out of the room and flee."

"You're right," her father said, nodding.

They looked around then until they found a housekeeping cart. He and Iris waited until the housekeeping lady had walked down the hallway towards the linen closet before Joe quickly swooped in on the cart, swiping the master keycard off of it.

"We have to be quick," he said as they rushed down the hallway with the card, back to Barry's room.

They paused outside the door though, staring at the black numbers,138, on the door, too nervous to open it. What were they going to say to him? How could they possibly convince Barry to come home? How could they make him see just how much they missed him? How loved he was?

Joe took a deep breath and silently slid the master keycard into the slot on the door. The light flashed green, and he and Iris shared a nervous glance with each other before Joe swung the door open.

They stepped silently into the room. The hotel room was dark and appeared to be empty. The lights were off, and the blinds were drawn on the windows. Nothing seemed to be disturbed, and the bed was still made. They saw no signs of Barry in the room.

Joe put a finger to his lips before silently tiptoeing towards the bathroom. He slowly turned the handle and eased the door open, but his face fell when he saw it was empty.

"He's not here," he said, crestfallen, "I don't get it. He was supposed to be here. According to Gideon, he was scheduled to check in at ten AM this morning. His stuff should be here, at least. There should be _something_ here."

Joe moved towards the dresser and started frantically yanking open all the drawers.

"Dad," Iris said quietly.

"There has to be something here," he said, "There _has_ to be."

"Dad," she said again, tears forming in her eyes, "Barry's not here."

Joe let out a shaky breath.

"Damn it!" he shouted, slamming one of the drawers shut.

Just then his phone started ringing.

"Hello?" he answered.

"Joe," Cisco's voice replied, sounding somber, "You need to come back to the van. I just found something."

Joe hung up without another word and silently gestured to Iris to follow him. He tossed the card back onto the cart when they walked past it, and they quickly made their way back to the van.

"Barry wasn't there," Joe fumed once he had slammed the van door shut behind him.

"I know," Cisco said, "I just found another report."

He turned his laptop so that Joe could see it, and he and Iris both read the title to the article he had found.

Arlington Ophthalmologist Accused of Embezzlement Scandal

"Barry's not in Ashland," Cisco said quietly, "He's not even in _Ohio_. He's in Arlington, Texas."

"But the room," Iris said desperately, "Edmond Dantes. It has to be Barry!"

Cisco shook his head.

"He tricked us," he said quietly, "He was never here. He just wanted us to _think_ he was here."

"But what about the pattern?" Henry asked, "Gideon's pattern?"

Cisco sighed.

"Gideon doesn't tell the future," he said, "She predicts the _most likely_ future. Barry is traveling more randomly than we thought. Or maybe I just didn't enter enough information into the system for it to be accurate. Maybe there was a factor that Gideon didn't account for. Or a last minute change in his plans. It could be any number of things."

"But how did Barry know we would be here?" Caitlin asked in confusion, "How did he know to book the decoy hotel room?"

Cisco shook his head.

"I don't know," he whispered.

They all were sullen and quiet as they drove their way back to Central City. They had really thought they were close to seeing Barry. Even though Barry had been states away, it still felt to them like he had been nearly in their grasp and had then slipped through their fingers. It was hard not to be a little angry with Barry. What Barry had done was cruel. He had intentionally tricked them, had gotten their hopes up and then crushed them. They couldn't believe Barry had actually staged this whole thing just to distract them.

As soon as they were back at STAR Labs, Cisco moved straight to the computer and started typing away.

"What are you doing?" Joe asked.

"I'm tracing the IP address of the computer used to book the room," Cisco said quickly, "If I can find the IP address, I might be able to trace the computer that Barry is using, assuming it's his own. I might be able to pinpoint his location."

They all watch anxiously as Cisco worked his magic on the computer, tracing the IP address. Finally, a nine-digit number appeared on the screen.

"Got it!" Cisco yelled excitedly, punching the air in triumph.

His face suddenly fell then as he lowered his fist.

"Wait a minute," he said tensely, "This isn't right."

"What is it?" Caitlin asked nervously.

Cisco looked at her, a confused expression on his face.

"It's the STAR Labs IP address," he replied.

"Barry was _here_?!" Iris cried, "He was _inside_ STAR Labs?!"

"No," Cisco said quickly, "No, he couldn't have been. I have sensors set up to alert us if Barry were to return to the lab. He couldn't have been here without us knowing."

"But the rooms were booked this morning," Caitlin said, "They were booked from _this_ computer this morning."

Joe suddenly spun around and looked around at all of them, a suspicious look on his face.

"Someone here is helping Barry stay hidden."

…..

 **I need everyone's help with something. I've written a letter to the writers of the Flash, and I need help spreading the message so that it gets to them. If you have a moment, please look me up on Twitter at RedQ051 and see the tweet pinned to my profile. If you agree with what I say in my letter, please retweet it or share the letter on Facebook so that it can spread and eventually get to the right people. Although it's too late to change season 3, I strongly hope that my letter will be taken into consideration for season 4. Thank you!**

 **RedQ**


	4. LA Severance

**WARNING: Suicide and Graphic Medical Scene**

 **LA Severance**

They all looked nervously around at each other. Iris was the first to speak.

"No one here would do that, dad," she said surely, "We all want Barry to come home safe. None of us would help us him stay hidden."

"What about Dr. Holland?" Joe asked darkly.

Caitlin shook her head quickly.

"She's been locked in the pipeline since yesterday morning," she told them all, "She couldn't have done it."

"Then who did?!" Joe asked angrily.

"Maybe it's not a who," Cisco said slowly, staring at the data he had just pulled up on the screen.

"What?" Iris asked him in confusion.

"Gideon," Cisco said quietly.

He turned to look at all of them with a serious expression on his face.

"She's lying to us."

Silence hovered over them for a moment as they processed his words.

"What do you mean?" Henry asked, "How is she lying?"

"This data is all messed up," Cisco said, shaking his head at the computer, "I just ran a program history check. She originally calculated that Barry would go to Arlington, Texas, which was right, but then she switched the numbers around…and told us he'd be in Ashland."

"What?" Iris asked, "Why?!"

Cisco shook his head, at a loss for an explanation.

"She booked the room," he said quietly, "She booked the room under Edmond Dantes, not Barry, not any of us. _She_ did."

"How?" Joe asked seriously, "She's a computer. Barry would have had to program her to do that ahead of time."

Cisco shook his head.

"Barry couldn't have known for sure that we were going to try to use Gideon against him," he said, "And even if he had, he couldn't have programmed her to do this months in advance like this when he, himself, didn't know where he would be or when we would try to use the software."

Cisco took a deep breath and swallowed before continuing.

"He could, however, program her to be loyal to him and only him," he said quietly, "It makes sense, actually. The future Gideon that we talked to before was loyal to Barry too because he was her creator. I didn't anticipate that kind of loyalty from this earlier version, though, but now, I think…"

"What Cisco?" Henry asked urgently, "What do you think?"

Cisco swallowed and looked seriously at all of them when he finally finished in a soft voice.

"I think Gideon is more _conscious_ than we originally thought."

Just then, there was a small beep from the computer. They all looked at the screen.

"No," Cisco whispered frantically, typing away at the keyboard, "No, no, _no_."

"What is it?" Henry asked urgently.

"She…she just deleted all the information," Cisco said in disbelief, "Her...her history. She cleared it out."

They all stared at the computer in shock, all of them at a loss for words. It seemed impossible that the computer could be thinking on its own to this degree. What had Barry _created_?!

"Turn it off," Iris said then, her voice laced with fear, "Turn it off, Cisco! What if she's listening to us?!"

Cisco shook his head.

"That's highly unlikely," he said reasonably.

"We've already underestimated Barry once," Joe said seriously, "I say we turn it off. I don't trust Gideon."

Cisco nodded then and shut down Barry's program.

After Gideon was shut down, they all stared at each other in shock, all thinking the same thing. Barry was playing a whole new game that they hadn't even anticipated.

He was ten steps ahead of them.

…..

After their plan to find Barry had failed, they decided to refocus their efforts back on Eiling. Joe and Singh were both working with Laurel Lance to arrange all the legal formalities behind pressing the charges. It was a lot more complicated than most cases, and they had to be careful that they did everything by the book. One slip up, and Eiling's lawyers would tear their case apart faster than the Flash could run.

Singh had reluctantly agreed to forging the papers so that they'd be in Barry's name. Joe felt extremely guilty for doing it, but Barry _had_ given him his permission before he took off. Granted, that was before Barry had known they were working with Holland to take Eiling down.

As much as they despised the woman for everything she had done to Barry, they couldn't deny that she was a valuable asset to their case. She agreed to testify during the trial, and she was still helping them sift through all of the evidence she had managed to take from the lab the night they rescued Barry.

Caitlin always hated these sessions with Holland more than anything, especially when they were going through the videos. Even though she was a doctor and had always been good with blood, Caitlin always had to keep a waste bucket nearby when they were going through the videos, especially when they got to some particularly gory ones that made bile rise more forcefully in her throat.

"Why would you even _do_ that to him?!" Caitlin sobbed after she had just paused a video, "Why would you do something so sick?! What medical research could you have possibly gotten from _that_?!"

Dr. Holland gave her a sad look as she slowly shook her head.

"None," she said quietly, "It served no medical purpose."

Caitlin pressed a hand to her mouth as tears leaked from her eyes.

"Then, why did you do it?" she asked in a weak voice.

Dr. Holland sighed and ran a hand through her hair.

"Some of the things we did to him," she said slowly, "They weren't for research. We were… _conditioning_ him. Eiling wanted him to learn obedience."

"You were breaking him," Caitlin whispered, feeling her stomach clench.

Dr. Holland nodded sadly.

"Yeah, we were," she confirmed softly.

Caitlin took a deep breath and then saved the video to be used in the trial before scrolling through the rest of them again. Her mouse rolled over the page and landed on a file, hovering over it.

 _LA Severance._

"What's this one?" she asked the other doctor coldly, "LA Severance, what's that?"

"Don't watch that one," Dr. Holland said suddenly, going pale as she looked at the link to the video, " _Please_ don't watch it."

"What is it?" Caitlin demanded, her stomach clenching in fear.

"It's…It's the worst thing I did to Barry," Dr. Holland choked, tears forming in her eyes.

Caitlin paled as she looked at the doctor, her stomach churning as she wondered what could possibly be on the video if Dr. Holland thought it was the worst thing they had done to him.

"What did you do?" Caitlin whispered, the mouse hovering over the link.

Dr. Holland shook her head and covered her mouth with her hand, tears falling from her eyes.

"I kept pushing him," she cried through her fingers, "I just kept pushing and pushing and…"

Caitlin understood then.

"It's Barry's suicide attempt," she whispered, "LA stands for linguistic artery."

Dr. Holland nodded, tears still escaping her eyes.

"Please don't watch it," she pleaded, "I beg of you, please don't watch it."

"Don't watch what?" Joe asked.

Both women turned to see Joe enter the room.

"Nothing, Joe," Caitlin said, quickly clicking away from the video, "Just another lab video."

Joe shot Dr. Holland a look of pure loathing as he stepped closer to the computer.

"Let's see it," he said stiffly.

Caitlin gave him a shocked look.

"I thought you said you didn't want to see any more," she said nervously.

"Well, I want to see _this_ one," Joe replied firmly.

"Why?" Caitlin pressed.

"Because _she_ doesn't want us to see it," he said, tilting his head at Holland, "Now, play the damn video, Caitlin."

Caitlin let out a shaky sigh and clicked on the video. Dr. Holland turned her back to the screen, unable to watch.

The video didn't start out with a procedure right away, like most of them did. Instead, Dr. Holland was sitting in front of the camera.

 _"_ Incident report number eighteen for General Eiling," she said emotionlessly, "Today, we had a busy morning performing several different lymphadenectomies. We removed three cervical and two femoral lymph nodes from the subject. After that we performed a cholecystectomy and his gallbladder was removed successfully. By noon, we were ready to move on to our splenectomy procedure, but before we could remove the subject's spleen, we had an incident. The subject attempted to take his own life by biting down on his tongue. He completely severed his linguistic artery, resulting in significant blood loss. Fortunately, we managed to stop the bleeding and clear his airway before he could bleed out or suffocate. The splenectomy has been postponed to seven pm this evening due to blood loss, but the subject's body should be able to produce enough blood before then."

The video cut out then, and a second later, Barry came into view. He was lying on the table like always, his body shaking violently through all the pain he was in. He had a large bandage on the side of his neck from where they had removed some of his lymph nodes. What was most immediately noticeable, however, was the large incision in his abdomen.

"How are we doing on blood?" Dr. Holland asked casually as she widened the surgical incision, ignoring Barry's cries as she did so.

"We've estimated about a pint and a half lost from the previous procedures," the lab tech answered, "Maybe we should postpone this one. We're starting to push it, doctor."

"No," Dr. Holland replied, "No, we'll go ahead with the procedure. His body should produce enough blood just fine. I probably won't nick an artery this time either. He's a lot stiller now since we medicated him."

Joe and Caitlin both weren't looking at what the doctor was doing in the video. Instead, they both looked at Barry's face. He was deathly pale, and he was covered in sweat. The worst part, though, was the fact that he still seemed alert enough to feel everything that Holland was doing to him. They could still see the pain in his drug-hazed eyes.

When Dr. Holland moved forward with a scalpel, Barry lurched suddenly, his whole body moving.

" _Hold still_ ," Dr. Holland hissed impatiently at him.

Barry continued to squirm, though, tears in his eyes.

"Please don't do this," he sobbed, "I can't take another surgery right now. _Please_. Just do another respiratory experiment or break a few bones. I don't care. Just please stop taking things out of me!"

"Barry," Joe sobbed as he watched.

It had been a while since Joe had seen a video, and every time he watched one, it was like a punch to the gut, being reminded of everything Barry went through. Over time, it had started to feel more like a distant nightmare, but the videos refreshed it in everyone's minds. They reminded them that it had all been real.

Joe turned and glared at Dr. Holland in the present. She still had her back turned to the screen, unable to watch. Joe's blood boiled. In an instant, he reached out and grabbed the woman's arm, roughly spinning her around, forcing her to face the screen.

"You _watch_ ," he growled at her, "You _watch_ what you did to him!"

Dr. Holland nodded, tears flowing from her eyes as she watched herself on the screen.

In the video, Dr. Holland suddenly put her hand around Barry's throat and slammed his head down on the table with a smack.

"Stop. Fighting. Me," she gritted, losing her patience, " _Stop fighting_."

"No," Barry cried, "I won't! My family is going to come for me. They're going to get me out of here soon."

"Your family isn't coming," she said stiffly, "They're never going to come for you."

"Yes, they will," Barry sobbed, "Nothing you say is going to make me stop hoping. They're going to come for me. I know they are."

Dr. Holland let out a humorless laugh.

"It's cute that you still believe that," she sneered, "You really _are_ naïve, aren't you? You still haven't figured it out yet?!"

"Figured _what_ out?" Barry whispered, tears streaming from his eyes.

Dr. Holland leaned in and whispered in his ear.

"Your family was never here against their will," she whispered, "They're not coming for you because they're the ones who put you in here in the first place."

Joe and Caitlin both gasped and looked at Dr. Holland. She didn't look back at either of them. She kept her eyes locked on the screen, a look of pure anguish on her face.

"You're lying!" Barry cried, "My family would never put me in here! They would never do this to me!"

"Think about it, Barry," Dr. Holland said coldly, "Why _wouldn't_ they? After all the destructive decisions you've made? It was hard for them, I'm sure, but they made the right decision, for everyone's safety, by giving you over to us. Dr. Snow even wanted to participate in our research, but the general wouldn't let her."

"Caitlin would never do that," Barry sobbed, "My family…they would never do this to me!"

"You're a danger to the world, Flash," Dr. Holland said in a hard voice, "You're a danger to everyone around you. You're a burden and an abomination. Why would anyone want to keep a thing like you?"

Barry didn't say anything. He broke out into sobs, tears running down his face.

"It's okay, Barry," Dr. Holland cooed, petting his hair, _comforting_ him, "It's okay. We've found a new purpose for you now. I know you didn't mean to cause all the damage that you did. I know you only ever wanted to help people, and now you can—with this research. Your body is still of use to us."

Joe and Caitlin watched with tears streaming down their faces as Dr. Holland then stood up straight and moved to go back to her operation. Barry looked more broken in that moment than they had ever seen him before. His last shred of hope had just been taken from him, and he was then left feeling completely empty.

The camera moved away from his face then and refocused back on the surgery. Barry's screams resumed as Dr. Holland started to explore the abdominal incision, shifting his organs until she could visualize his spleen. She started to prepare for its removal, deaf to Barry's cries, which eventually hushed as he became too exhausted to scream anymore.

Barry grew silent.

Dr. Holland set to work clamping the organ to prevent any unnecessary bleeding. She was just about to remove Barry's spleen when she was stopped suddenly by a harsh beeping that came from the monitor.

"His BP is dropping," one of the lab techs said in alarm, "You must have nicked something."

"Suction," Dr. Holland ordered.

Someone stepped forward and suctioned out the abdominal cavity so she could find the source of the bleeding.

"I can't find it," she said in frustration, "I can't find the bleed."

"Doctor!" one of the lab assistants yelled, pointing frantically.

The camera moved back to Barry's face, and Dr. Holland gasped. Blood was pouring profusely from Barry's mouth. Joe and Caitlin both thought they were going to be sick as they watched the scene unfold. Dr. Holland moved back over to Barry's head, trying to force his mouth open so she could see, but Barry clamped it shut and turned his head to the side, away from her.

"Get me some gauze!" Dr. Holland said, "And suction! I need suction before he suffocates!"

All of the scientists stepped forward to grab a hold of Barry's head, trying to force his mouth open. Tears streamed down Barry's face as he choked on his own blood.

"He must have severed his linguistic artery," Dr. Holland said urgently, "He bit down on his tongue. If we don't act fast, the subject's going to die! You! Put down the camera and help!"

The camera cut out after that, and the video froze, right on Barry's face.

Joe and Caitlin stood there in shock, both of their stomachs churning horribly. Neither of them could even look at Dr. Holland.

They had already known about Barry's suicide attempt and how he had done it, but seeing the video of it, it was so much gorier than they had imagined. It was so much more horrific than they had pictured. Neither of them could even look at the bloody image on the screen.

Barry had told them that the scientists had said some horrible things to him, had played mind games with him, but they had never known it was like this.

It explained a lot.

It explained why Barry had been so mistrustful of them when he was first rescued. They had assumed it was just paranoia after everything he had been through, but what if there was more to it than that?

Dr. Holland broke the silence first.

"I'm so sorry," she whispered.

Both of them glared angrily at her. There were no words they could say to her right now that would be enough to express the hatred they felt for the woman, and there were no words that she could say that could atone for everything she had done. 'I'm sorry' seemed far too trivial.

Although they didn't support Barry's vendetta, they knew now why he felt the need to do this, why he was unable to move on. They understood why he left, why he needed to do this alone. He had exposed all of the scientists at this point, and now they didn't know what he was going to do next. Whatever it was, they dreaded it. They were terrified of what Barry would become, what he would do. They didn't fully support it.

But they understood it.

…..

Getting his hands on tripolymer material hadn't been easy. Barry had to steal it from Mercury Labs, something that he didn't really care to do. He could add theft to his list of crimes now. Really, it was the first crime he had truly committed in his vendetta—aside from some minor trespassing—but it wouldn't be the last. To him, it was a necessary move.

He couldn't continue wearing the red suit. Not for this. Not for this next part.

Barry's damaged hands shook as he worked with the black material, fashioning himself a whole new suit. He didn't waste time adding any lightning bolts or fancy embroidery. The suit would be simple and functional for its purpose. There would be no more mention of the "red demon" that he had seen in a few of the articles he had read. There would be many more articles to come, but there would be nothing in them that could lead people to believe the Flash was behind any of it.

He wondered absently what they would call him now. _Black_ Demon? It didn't matter what they called him though. Barry didn't care about whatever dark name they came up with for him. All he cared about was his mission. His heart beat wildly in his chest every time he thought about what he was going to do now.

He just hoped his family would forgive him.

…..

 **I know this chapter was very dark. Really, this whole** ** _story_** **is dark, and it's about to take an even darker turn, just to warn you—although, I'm sure you figured that out.**


	5. Obsidian

**Obsidian**

* * *

 _US General Arrested for Abduction and Assault_

 _General Wade Eiling Now Facing Charges for Torture and Human Experimentation_

 _United States Official Accused of Illegal Detainment of US Citizen_

It was the headline in every paper, the topic in every news story. Anyone who lived in the state of Ohio had heard of the story within a couple days of the charges being pressed, and the coverage for the story was quickly gaining nationwide attention.

Everyone, of course, was wondering who the hell Barry Allen was and why he was pressing charges on a United States general. Very little was known about the case, and the question that most people kept asking: _where_ was Barry Allen?

Joe was telling everyone, including his coworkers, that Barry was currently living under the Witness Protection Program as a precaution. They were going after a powerful general, after all, and like predicted, said general had been out on bail within twenty-four hours of the charges being pressed. Eiling was out there somewhere, walking free and doing God knows what to fight the charges against him.

Team Flash had half-expected the general to talk to the media, to slander Barry and deny the charges, but there was only silence, which was somewhat more nerve-wracking than it would have been if Eiling had fought back publicly. No one on Team Flash was talking to the media either. Reporters surrounded the West house at all hours of the day, but Joe and Iris had refused to give any statements to them. None of them wanted to reveal anything to the media that Eiling could use against them. It was better not to show any of their cards too soon.

With the controversial case against a United States official taking over the media, there was another story that wasn't given nearly as much attention—at least, by most people. Team Flash, however, had been following the news reports of a mysterious dark speedster almost religiously.

"At least they don't think he's Zoom," Cisco pointed out as they read another report, "His lightning isn't blue, so they know it's not the same person."

"Where did Barry even get the black suit?" Iris asked, staring at the blurry image of a black-clad speedster in Bellevue, Nebraska.

"Mercury labs," Cisco sighed, "They reported a break-in last week. The only thing they reported missing was some of their trypolymer material. Said they found a stack of cash in the place where it was supposed to be."

Joe huffed out a small laugh, causing all of them to turn and look at him questioningly.

"Sorry," he chuckled lightly, "There's really nothing funny about this at all. It's just that it's so _Barry_ to break into a facility to 'steal' something and then leave a pile of cash behind. Of course, he would still try to pay for it."

Cisco managed a small laugh and nodded.

"Barry is probably the world's worst robber," he agreed, although there wasn't much humor in his voice.

"The real question," Caitlin said seriously, "Is what he's going to do now. Why change his suit? What purpose does that serve?"

"Maybe it was just too hard for him to wear the old one," Joe said quietly, "Maybe he just couldn't take it anymore."

"Barry's exposed all the scientists," Henry said, "All except for Eiling and Dr. Holland. Maybe he's going to be coming after them next."

Joe shook his head.

"No," he said darkly, "I don't think that's what he's doing."

"What do you mean?" Caitlin asked.

"I don't think Barry's done with the scientists," Joe said darkly, "I don't think he'd be satisfied with just exposing them. He's going to do something else now."

"Well, so far he hasn't," Henry pointed out, "So far, all the news reports just say that a dark speedster has been spotted in several cities throughout the country. There's been nothing about him doing anything involving any of the scientists."

"For now," Joe whispered.

"Joe's right," Cisco said suddenly.

They all looked over at him, sitting behind his desk at his computer, his eyes glued to the screen.

"A doctor just went missing," he whispered, looking up from the computer.

They all stared at him.

"What?" Iris asked, her throat dry.

"Dr. James Coffman," Cisco read, "former physician and medical researcher, went missing from his home two days ago in Ashwaubenon, Wisconsin. Coffman was recently arrested for the promotion and distribution of human organs on the black market. The charges were still pending when the doctor mysteriously went missing. His wife, Marion Coffman, reported seeing a strange flash of light in their home just before her husband's disappearance, and many believe the mysterious dark speedster, more commonly referred to as Obsidian, is connected to the doctor's disappearance. Authorities are urging anyone with more information pertaining to the missing person's case to come forward…cont. p4."

The other's all stared at the engineer when he finished reading.

"Obsidian?" Joe asked quietly, "That's what they're calling him now?"

"It would appear so," Cisco said seriously.

"What do you think Barry _did_?" Iris asked shakily, "What did he do to the missing doctor?"

"He killed him," Caitlin whispered, horrified.

"No," Henry said firmly, "My son isn't capable of murder. He wouldn't kill anyone, no matter what they had done to him. No."

"Henry's right," Joe said reasonably, "We shouldn't start jumping to conclusions. We have no idea what Barry did to that doctor."

"Exactly," Iris choked, tears filling her eyes as she continued in a shaky voice, "We don't know _anything_! That's what terrifies me! The fact that we don't know _what_ Barry is capable of now! That we don't even know who he _is_ anymore!"

"He's still Barry," Cisco said firmly, "No matter what he does, deep down, he's still Barry."

Iris shook her head, a strained sob escaping her lips.

"I don't know," she choked, "I don't know who he is anymore. Whoever he is, it's not Barry Allen. Barry Allen would never do this."

"Baby girl," Joe said, putting a hand on her shoulder, "We don't know anything yet. It doesn't pay to get upset over this. That's not going to help anything."

"It's not just this that's upsetting me!" Iris cried, "Barry's been gone for over _two months,_ dad."

"I know," Joe said sadly.

"I guess I just thought…" she said brokenly, "I thought he'd come home. With him now finished exposing the scientists and us pressing the charges on Eiling…I thought he'd come home. I thought something would change."

"He _will_ come home, Iris," Joe said firmly, "When he's ready, when he's done doing whatever he feels he needs to do to move on, _Barry will come home_."

"What if he doesn't?" she asked quietly, "What if…when this is over…he still doesn't come home?"

"Iris…" Caitlin said sadly.

Iris just shook her head.

"And if we _do_ get Barry back, if we do manage to find him…" she cried, "Who exactly are we going to find? He's not going to be Barry anymore. The longer he does this, the more pieces of himself he's going to lose. What we'll get back is going to be an empty shell of a person. It won't be Barry."

"We haven't lost him, Iris," Joe said quietly, "Barry's still in there somewhere. We just need to find a way to break through to him."

"Well, we'll never be able to do that if we never get the chance," Iris cried, "We might never get the chance to fix this. We…we might never see Barry again."

* * *

It was just a red substance.

It didn't mean anything. It was just a red, sticky substance that he was washing off his hands. There was no need to think about it too much, no reason why he should feel dizzy watching the streaks of crimson flow down the sink's drain, the same way they had flowed down the drain in that lab…

Barry stared down at his crimson hands in disgust. These weren't his hands. Not anymore. They had now done things he had never thought himself capable of. They were mutilated and sick, twisted and morphed into the hands of a stranger.

They weren't his hands.

The reflection in the mirror wasn't him. Barry didn't know who it was, staring back at him, but he knew who it _wasn't_. It wasn't Barry Allen. It wasn't the Flash. It wasn't anyone he, or anyone he used to know, would recognize.

He should feel sick—he _does_ feel sick—but not over what he had _done_.

Barry was sick over what he had _felt_ —how what he had done had made him _feel_. He thought he would feel remorse, thought he would feel a sense of horror over his actions.

He didn't.

Barry had _enjoyed_ it.

That was what bothered him more than anything, the fact that he not only felt zero remorse over the sick things he had done, he had taken _pleasure_ from it. He wanted to do it _again_. That was what scared him more than anything. The bloodlust. He hadn't been expecting it. He hadn't been anticipating that he might actually _enjoy_ what he was doing. He knew this was something he _needed_ to do, but he hadn't realized until now that it was something he _wanted_ to do.

He felt alive again. For the first time since getting out of that lab, Barry didn't feel dead inside. He didn't feel like a zombie, a walking shell.

He felt real.

Every time Barry thought about the doctor's face, contorted in pain, he felt _good_. He wasn't proud of what he had done—not by a longshot—but he also didn't regret it, and he would do it again in a heartbeat. He _was_ going to do it again—to the others.

And he was going to enjoy it.

* * *

Iris couldn't stop throwing up. It had been a full ten minutes since they had seen the news report, and she was _still_ sick.

"Barry didn't do this," she muttered to herself, "He didn't do it. He didn't do it. He _couldn't_ have done it."

But he did. There was no doubt about that.

"Iris," Joe said sadly, putting a hand on her shoulder.

"Barry couldn't have done this, dad," she choked.

"He did," Joe whispered, "It was him."

Iris shook her head, feeling her stomach churn again.

"We need to bring Barry home _now_ ," Henry said seriously, "Before he does this again."

"We _can't_ ," Cisco said, "We've tried everything we can think of. We can't bring him home."

"He _tortured_ a man!" Henry shouted, "He… _eviscerated_ him! We can't let this continue! We need to _do_ something!"

Cisco let out a heavy sigh and looked back at the news report on his computer screen. Dr. Coffman had been found alive. He had been stripped down naked, and his organs had been pulled out of him while he was still alive. At first, they thought there was no way Barry could have done it.

But then they heard about the brand.

Barry had branded the doctor, permanently burning the numbers 0227 into the side of the man's face, where they would remain for the rest of his life. If it weren't for the brand, they wouldn't have been able to accept that it was Barry's work. The doctor was lucky to be alive.

"Barry's going to strike again if we don't stop him," Henry warned darkly, "He's not going to stop until he gets them all."

"How is Barry doing this?" Caitlin whispered to herself.

They all turned to look at her.

"What do you mean?" Joe asked, "He's more than capable with his powers."

"I know," Caitlin said quickly, "I know he's physically capable. I mean _mentally_. How is he handling this?"

"I know what you mean," Iris said, "He could barely even handle the sight of a _knife_ a month ago."

"This is different, though," Joe said darkly, "This time… _Barry_ is the one wielding the knife. He's the one inflicting pain. The one in control."

Cisco shook his head and stared at the screen in front of him.

"I think Barry is anything _but_ in control right now."

* * *

The screams ricocheted off the walls of the room, the sound rennervating throughout the small space. It made Barry twitch slightly, hearing the sound of the man's agony, but then he remembered:

They always ignored _his_ screams.

Why should he do any different? Why should he feel any sympathy for the man who did the same exact thing to him for weeks? Barry sighed as he flipped the switch on the wall, causing the screaming to cease. The naked man in the chair gasped for breath, his hands still tightly gripping the arms of the chair, despite the lack of electricity now running through him.

"Who are you?!" he rasped, his voice raw from screaming, "Why are you doing this?!"

Barry's lips twitched slightly, even though the man couldn't see him with the blindfold over his eyes.

"You know…" Barry said offhandedly, slowly circling around the chair as he spoke, "I used to have a lot of fun with electricity as a kid. My foster father grounded me countless times for blowing out fuses in our house with my crazy garage experiments. One time, I took out the power on the whole block, trying to build a tesla coil. I wasn't allowed to do any more electrical experiments after that."

" _What_?" the man said in confusion.

Barry flipped the switch again.

"AAAAARGG!"

Barry tilted his head to the side, watching with interest as the man's veins seemed to protrude from his neck, every muscle tensed, every nerve raw and on end. He stared at the man for a moment longer before lazily turning off the power again.

"P-please stop!" the man cried, full-on sobbing now after all the pain he had endured.

"I'm much more experienced with electricity now," Barry continued calmly, as if there had been no interruption, "Throughout college I became more confident with it. I learned how to use it without short-circuiting my power source. I finished my tesla coil and even won the Outstanding Scientific Undergraduate Award from Central City University. Joe was so proud. Chemistry was always more my forte, but I've always had a special interest in electrical mechanics."

"You're insane!" the man screamed, "You're sick and insane!"

"Little did I know," Barry continued, as if the man hadn't spoken, "Electricity would become a much bigger part of my life. It's more than just an interest to me now. It's a _part_ of me. It's what drives me, what gives me power. It flows in my veins like blood, always pushing me to keep moving forward…to keep _running_."

The man's expression shifted under the blindfold then, first becoming an expression of shock, which quickly morphed into one of fear.

"Two-Twenty-Seven," Dr. Freeman whispered.

Barry's mouth was a thin line as he slowly knelt down in front of the man, reaching out to remove his blindfold. When the cloth was torn away from the man's face, his eyes widened in horror as they met Barry's. He looked into Barry's dark, lifeless eyes with a haunted expression on his face.

"That's not my name," Barry whispered.

The man shook with fear, trembling so terribly the entire chair was shaking.

"What is my name?" Barry whispered, leaning closer to the man until their faces were only inches apart, "Say it."

"I…d-don't…" the man stammered.

"SAY IT!" Barry screamed in the man's face, causing him to quiver in fear.

"I don't know!" the man cried, squeezing his eyes shut, "I'm sorry! I d-don't know it!"

Barry's lips twitched humorlessly as he shook his head and stood up straight again, looking down at the man in disgust.

"I'm s-sorry!" the doctor sobbed, tears running down his face, "Please! I'm so sorry! I'm so sorry f-for everything I did to you! If I could take it b-back I—AAAAARG!"

A flip of a switch and the man was screaming again, his eyes looking ready to pop out of his head. Barry found that the more he heard the agonized sound issuing from the man's mouth, the better he felt. He wasn't fully satisfied, though.

He didn't think he would ever be.

"P-please!" Dr. Freeman sobbed when Barry finally turn the power off again, "Please, d-don't do this! I'm begging you!"

"Like how _I_ begged?" Barry asked calmly, "Like how I cried and pleaded for you to stop? Did _you_ stop then, doctor? Did you stop bringing that cattle prod down on my skin?"

"I'm so sorry!" Dr. Freeman cried, "None of it was personal! I was just f-following orders! Please!"

"Not personal," Barry muttered under his breath, "Well, for me, Dr. Freeman, this is very personal."

He knelt down then and whispered in the doctor's ear.

"And I'm going to _enjoy_ it."

He flipped the switch again, watching with a smile on his face as the doctor screamed and writhed in the chair. The brand wound on the man's face cracked and bled with his agonized movements. Barry flipped the switch off again with a sigh.

"Funny thing about electricity," he said calmly, ignoring the doctor's sobs, "Too much of it, and the circuit shorts out. Those pesky circuit breakers, always causing problems. Like I said, though, I have experience with electricity. I know just how much of it to use without going over the circuit's limits. I'm not sure what _your_ limits are, but this circuit, doctor…"

Barry walked over to the switch on the wall, turning back to smile at the terrified man.

"It can stay on all day."

With that, Barry flipped the switch and flashed out of the house, ignoring the screams that dragged on and on behind him.

* * *

 **Disclaimer: Electricity scene inspired by** ** _Taken_** **.**

 **Because I know some are going to ask, I chose the name** ** _Obsidian_** **for several reasons. Obsidian is a type of shiny, black stone that is formed in the aftermath of volcanic eruptions. Not only is the stone black, like Barry's new suit, but it also seemed poetic considering this version of Barry was birthed in the aftermath of a horrible trauma, the same way the stone is formed after a natural disaster.**

 **Also, in some forms of paganism, the stone is believed to have magical properties. It is believed that the stone can absorb negative energy, thus protecting the people around it from evil. This is exactly what Barry is doing. He's cleansing the world of negative energy by going after the scientists, but by doing so, he's taking that negative energy, that hate, into himself.**

 **I know there are cooler names I could have used, but this one seemed the most appropriate to me.**


End file.
